Third Day with Benjamin!

This post is to document our time visit to Benjamin’s orphanage. The details may not be of interest to some, but one day he will be able to read this post and possible know a little more, although very little, of the place he spend the early part of his life. 

We arrived at the Kunming Social Welfare Institute and was quickly escorted to a conference room where we could ask questions. Problem was, they either didn’t want to give us the answers, or they didn’t know.  We were told that he spent 5 months at the foster village but they couldn’t give us any information about the family or if he had any foster siblings. He was returned to the orphanage a week before we met him.  We asked about any special care givers that he was attached to. But we were told they are moved around a lot so the kids do not get attached to any one person.  SO SAD! We were told that he likes to eat fruit and cake – and anything sweet. But we have found this to not be true. He really does not like sweets at all and will drink some fruit juice but he will not eat any fruit that we have found. We were also told he is stubborn and that is really true.  There were other questions that we tried to get answers too without success, and we know that this is just the lay of the land for international adoptions.  But we had hoped to be able to piece together some of his early history, but there was little information given.

The orphanage was very clean, and somewhat sterile.  And strangely quiet. There are 700 kids connected with this orphanage.  550 are in foster care and 150 are living at the orphanage.  The kids in foster care typically have a better start in life, and we feel that this will be the case with Benjamin.  I was surprised, and a little disappointed, that he was only in foster care for 5 months. But feel that this did impact him in a positive way. He came to us plump, healthy, and developmentally on target.  He also is very interactive and returns affection easily.  Which means he was most likely shown affection. 

We saw some children today during our visit, and they were all plump and being attended to.  Most were under the age of 6 months.  From reading other families accounts of their visit, most children are sent to the foster care village around the age of 6 months.  Which seemed to line up with what we saw.  We did see some other older children being cared for. Two children that were blind, were outside for a walk with a caregiver. We also saw a special needs room that housed older kids that had more severe needs.  The equipment seemed up to date and the rooms were well staffed. I know this can be a show put on for the foreign visitors, but in any case, it did seem that the kids were well cared for. 

Its always hard to see so many children with out a family.  We have visited 3 out of our 5 youngest childrens’ orphanages, and 2 of them we were allowed to interact with the kids.  It leaves an impression on you that changes you forever.  If I could be granted one wish in life, it would be for each one of these very special treasures to find a family that would love and celebrate them and call them their own. 

But to focus on our little man – he is such a sweet and stubborn and strong willed little thing.  He will lay in my arms like a young baby and let me kiss his sweet little chubby cheeks. He smiles so big and has the cutest little laugh.  When one care giver (older lady in the pictures ) was holding him, as soon as I finished taking the picture, he leaned towards me and when I held him, he laid his head on my shoulder and snuggled so sweetly.  He also can throw a mean fit, bite and hit.  But that’s pretty normal even for a child that has grown up in a family. 

We are so thankful that God would allow us to add both Benjamin and Samuel to our family.  They are both so full of life and love and many gifts that we will spend a life time discovering.  We are so in love with them both and celebrate their little lives now and forever. 

Day 2 with Benjamin!

Since we completed all of Benjamin’s paperwork yesterday when we met him, our day today was free.  We had a tour scheduled to the Stone Forest, but we thought it would be over the top for our little ones, especially with Benjamin just joining our family.  So David, Matthew and Daniel went, and the girls and little boys and I stayed at the hotel.  It was fine as long as we were in the room and really it is going better than we could have imagined. Anna assured me that we could take them all to breakfast. I should have listened to my ‘inner voice’, or wisdom that comes with age.   I put the boys high chairs next to each other, and immediately Samuel started hitting Benjamin, and then Benjamin started kicking him.  And they were loud.  At one point Samuel starting grunting, and Benjamin decided he wouldn’t be out done, and grunted louder. Then Samuel started screaming at him, so Benjamin, again not to be out done, screamed even louder.  As we were scrambling to find food that Benjamin would eat  in hopes to gain some sense of control (he is very picky and has obviously not had many solids), Samuel got impatient and was able to reach a plate full of food and tossed it and it broke.  And then Benjamin joined in on the fun and started throwing food off his tray. I’m really not exaggerating.  At this point Mercy, Hope and Joy were just staring at the boys in disbelief and then Anna and I did the responsible thing – we started laughing. And the waitress that had cleaned up the broken plate and food, and had walked by many times and smiled at us, started laughing also.   So, we left and ate snack foods in the room. 

The boys have really done so well.  This has been our easiest transition.  Both boys were in foster care and that seems to have made such a huge difference in their adjustment. 

Tomorrow we are going to visit Benjamin’s orphanage.  He spent very little time there, but we are unable to visit the foster family or even get information on them so we feel like this could be important to him one day.  We were unable to go to Samuel’s orphanage other than the conference room we received him in, but they did walk us to his finding spot.  We will ask about Benjamin’s finding spot tomorrow, and hopefully be able to visit it.   

We are having a great time and really love China and the Chinese people, but we are also looking forward to being home with our boys so we can begin the real journey. 

Benjamin’s Gotcha Day!

We left our hotel this morning just before 8am, and went to the civil affairs office to do paperwork.  We got there about a half hour before Benjamin arrived.  We were in the middle of doing the paperwork and we looked up and there he was.  So adorable – ok gotta find another word but seriously both these boys are the cutest Chinese boys I have ever seen.  He smiled at me when I held him for the first time, and did so well.  Then David took him for a while, and he was very content as you can see from the pictures. As we were leaving the building (which was more like an apartment) he melted.  Poor baby.  He screamed for about 45 minutes, then fell asleep. Since waking up, he has been really happy.  The boys are so different.  Samuel is very peaceful and patient and likes to play with toys.  Benjamin on the other hand wants to be moving, and he is more social but not as interested in toys. He doesn’t walk well, but crawls so fast.  Its almost like we are watching a movie of a child crawling that has been played in fast forward.  The boys are very close in size.  Samuel is 6 months older, and a little taller. It seems that they weigh about the same.  So far they have done pretty well with each other.  Benjamin likes to hit and throw things, and Samuel just looks at him in this puzzled way and then walks off.  Then Benjamin crawls fast after him.  Mercy is a bit overwhelmed by it all and has needed a little extra attention today.  But when she is ‘in the mix’ she is mothering them or bossing them around – typical big sister.  This really has been an easier adjustment than we thought. Of course this is just day one, and we haven’t even attempted to go anywhere with them all.  Plus being in a hotel room has its advantages, since no one can ‘escape’ to another room.  OK – writing this later.  We just came back from dinner and things went better than we could have expected.  The man that was sitting at a table next to us, pointed at us and asked to be moved, all while Benjamin, Samuel and Mercy were banging their sippy cups on the table and laughing – and we were to which is probably what concerned the man – parents not being parents.  The boys both ate so well.  And at the end of dinner Benjamin started falling asleep in his high chair.  I picked him up and he snuggled so close and is still sleeping now, at 6pm.  We aren’t really sure if we should let him sleep or wake him up and count it as a nap. But leaning towards letting him sleep since its been such a stressful day for our little guy. A big thank you to Tina, who has done such a great job on our blog and travel journal.  The reason we have both is she will burn the travel journal to a cd that will later become a keepsake for our boys.  Which is what we have done for each of our girls – so had to be fairJ

A few more pictures

Meeting Benjamin

Just a short post to say we meet our little guy and all is well.  I wont post the pictures of me when I first saw him - way too embarrassing.  But I was SHOCKED to say the least.  He was way cuter than we could have ever imagined.  He has the cutest sticky up hair (always wanted a little boy w/this kind of hair) and he looks exactly like I always imagine a little chinese boy looking.  The pictures we have of him were when he was 4 mo and he is now 18 months. Anyway, here he is.......

The picture of him w/the chinese lady is the first time we saw him.  It was such a suprise.  We werent expecting him to walk in at that moment and all of a sudden there he was. Ill try to post more tonight but he is now waking up.

Day 7 with Samuel!

And 12 hours till we meet Benjamin. Benjamin is from an orphanage that rarely gives updates. The pictures and info we have on him are 14 months old. And at his age, turning 18 months on Tuesday, he has changed a lot. We don’t know if we will recognize him or not. I know that doesn’t matter, but I would really have loved just one picture during our wait. And for some reason it makes me more nervous meeting him. But I have been nervous before each gotcha day.

Today was spent traveling to Benjamin’s city. We left our hotel around 10am and arrived in Kunming around 5pm. Our hotel was a short drive and is in downtown Kunming. We walked to a Carrie Four, similar to Walmart, and got some water and snacks. It really cooled off fast and was chilly when we walked back. We saw a lot of people out and about, some dancing in open areas and others setting up things to sell, most homemade. Also, there were a few musicians w/a donation bucket near by. And everywhere we go, people stop in their tracks (including one van that was driving down the street and stopped traffic) just to check out the foreigners with so many Chinese children. People want to know what is wrong with Samuel’s leg (amniotic banding) and also with his hands and Mercy’s hands. We really never know what to say, except they were born that way. And all this is done either thru our son the interpreter, or our guide, and if neither are available then we do our best to use sign language. Basically its me pretending to be pregnant. But one lady thought I gave birth to Mercy when I did this – our guide came and was able to explain to her. Then she, as most do, gave me the thumps up. Just wish they knew we were the ones that need to give a thumbs up to the Chinese govt for letting us adopt these precious little ones.

Samuel continues to do well. He is really preferring David, and then me next. He prefers to only be held by us, and play with his brothers and sisters and sometimes throws a huge fit if one of them pick him up. He is getting more and more animated and is quiet most of the time, but then will let out these random happy screams that are piercing. Then he laughs at himself, which of course makes us laugh. He is super cute. He went on his first airplane ride today and did great. He was either eating or sleeping. When we got to our new room, he took all his toys, opened the closet door and put them neatly on a shelf. Just like his sister Joy, and brother Daniel. He is so CUTE!!!!

We took very few pictures today since it was mostly spent traveling so a couple of them are from yesterday.

Day 6 with Samuel!

Today we went touring – AGAIN!  But it was interesting, just a little overwhelming at times.  There are 22 million people living in Beijing, and this is the last weekend before school starts, and it is a Saturday.  All that made for unbelievable crowds of people.  I hate crowds but it is really just a way of life here. 

We started out at the zoo and aquarium.   We saw a dolphin show where the dolphins would push this guy super fast in the water and then shoot him up in the air, or shoot him up on to the ‘stage’ area at unbelievable speeds.  Pretty sure we have laws that protect people from things like that because just a very slight mistake would have sent this guy crashing into the concrete side, head first.  You get the picture. 

We left there and had a nice lunch – Chinese of course – and then to the Summer Palace.  While there, we had a lot of people that stopped us to take pictures of their kids with Matthew, Daniel and/or Anna.  Even one guy that was a teen came up and want us to take a picture of him (with his camera) with Matthew and then with Daniel.  My kids are celebrities.  This happened a lot on the Great Wall, and has happened other places too.  One guy wanted pictures of all of the Caucasian people in our family but not the Chinese kids – nope, we are package deal, all or nothing. 

Then tonight after the 4 little ones went to bed, I went out with the 3 big ones.  We had so much fun.  We went to a night market with all kinds of weird food. WEIRD! And there was a church in the area, with a large square, and someone was playing techno music.  Everyone was dancing, what I would have called line dancing in my day, but my kids told me it was called a Rave.  It was so strange and funny and interesting.  And then in the middle of a song it stopped, the people cleared out, and another group moved in and started doing ballroom dancing. 

On to one of my favorite subjects – and I’m trying to not sound like a broken record but, our little guy is ADORABLE!!  And so sweet. He just has the cutest smile ever and is so sweet.  Did I tell you how sweet he is????  I think I say that a thousand times a day.  He is wiggly and loud at times, but for the most part, he is such a snuggle bug and the happiest little guy ever.  He is such a good eater and he SLEEPS!!!!  Mercy still has sleep issues and so its nice to have a good sleeper.  Hoping the same for Benjamin.  And speaking of Benjamin, we are less than 48 hours from meeting him.  We leave in the morning for Kunming, get there in the late afternoon, and meet him on Monday in the early part of the day.

p.s. These are some of Samuel's adorable little faces.

p.s.s. I tried to post extra pictures to our blog but I cant access it even w/a vpn.  The internet here has been very slow and patchy.  I will try when we get settled in, in Kunming.