First Month Home!

Its hard to believe that we have been home for a little over a month now.  Things have gone extremely well.  Better than we could have hoped for.  The 3 little ones are so cute together and have done really great with each other for the most part.  Our time 'in' chair gets lots of use and now the love seat is used often too since many times Mercy and Samuel are needing a little think it over time, at the same time.  Not that 2 years do much thinking though.

Mercy has had some big changes in her short little life.  I was really concerned that adding 2 brothers close to her age might cause some major upsets for her.  But she loves them both and her and Samuel are either hugging and kissing (its the cutest thing ever) or fighting like great enemies.  Typical siblings.  Benjamin still seems so much younger than the other two and so he tends to hang more with me - no complaints here.  He is just the sweetest little guy.  

In case you don't know the age difference - Mercy will be 3 in a few weeks, Samuel is 27 months, and Benjamin is 19 months old.  I know it doesn't seem to be the wisest of things to do, adopt 3 kids that close in age, but we knew God was leading us to each of them and the outcome has been WONDERFUL!!! And No, I'm not high energy, and Yes, I am beat at the end of the day.  David, who is the energizer bunny, is also beat and usually beats me to bed at night which is unusual for us.  My house has a constant scattering of toys, there is always laundry to be done, and dishes in the sink. I can change more diapers in a day than I really want to count, make more meals and snacks than I thought a sane person should do, but Oh, the love, kisses, hugs, and just wonder of it all!  Amazing!

Benjamin



Samuel and Mercy!



We can go from this.......




..... to this.  Quicker than I can blink.

                                            


Benjamin LOVES water.  Bath, big pool, little pool, even dumping his sippy cup on his high chair tray so he can play in.  



 

Samuel almost always has a smile on his face.  He has a million dollar smile that can melt your heart in a moment. 

  

Samuel, Mr. kissy lips - he knows how to give the sweetest pucker kiss.

 

Benjamin, the kid with the coolest hair ever. 

 

HOME!

We are home!  Sorry I havent posted yet. I will soon, but just wanted to say we are safe and sound and doing great.  The boys have adjusted so well and its hard to believe we have only been home for 3 weeks. It seems like they have been with us forever.  They are both just amazing.  I will post more and some pictures soon.

Heading home today….

We are on the final countdown here.  The packing begins which is a huge undertaking. 

Sorry for the lack of post yesterday.  Joy, Hope, Daniel and I went to the city of Zhuhai, where Joy is from and it was an all day trip.  We visited her finding spot, the police station where she was taken after being found, and then to her orphanage.  I will write a separate post about this on the blog, but it won’t be on the story of you since that is a special keepsake for the boys.

David, Matthew and Anna had the 3 little ones while we were gone.  When we got back to the room, after being gone for most of the day, I kept hearing how funny they had been.  So I am guessing things went pretty well.  David did a little shopping with Samuel in tow, and Matthew and Anna watched Benjamin and Mercy in the hotel room, mostly while they slept. 

When we got back from Zhuhai, we all went to the Pearl Market and did some last minute shopping and then to dinner to a ‘western restaurant’. It was good, but we couldn’t really figure out what it was – wasn’t western but wasn’t Chinese.  Sort of a mix.  They took typical dishes we would eat in the states, and added a Chinese flare. 

Daniel, Hope and I went out for a late night shopping trip to get some traditional Chinese clothing for the 3 little ones for red couch pictures – that I doubt we are going to have time to take.  It’s a tradition with adoptive families but this might just be a tradition that we can’t keep this time. Between Benjamin breaking his arm and needing to stay in the room a bit more, and also not being able to put a shirt on him in a normal fashion, and many of us getting a dose of mao’s revenge and having to take turns staying close to a bathroom, our time got away from us.  Which is hard to believe since we have been here for 3 weeks.

We have had two big connecting rooms at our last hotel.  Hope and Joy have been sleeping on 2 little couches, one from each room, that we put together as a sort of ‘sectional’ and they have loved this.  We have had a king bed and sometime during the night, every night without us even being aware of it, Mercy crawls in bed with us.  Then the little boys get up early and we move them in bed with us.  At home we have a queen so not sure how this will play out but we hope once we are settled in a bit that the little ones will be sleeping in their own beds ALL NIGHT LONG!  Wonder how many years that will take.

Well this is the last post from China. I will try to post an update when we are home and settled in.  Last night we talked about all the things we are looking forward to – our dog (the girls and me), our beds, our food, taking a shower in clean water, brushing our teeth with sink water, just to name a few.  We will miss China but I won’t miss feeling like we live in a glass house.  I will miss the people who are so gracious, the sites, sounds and smells – yes, even the smells.  Sometimes they are totally overwhelming, but each time we have come back, the first thing we all notice is ‘the smell’.  So, we are all looking forward to ‘missing it’ and being at home.

Please pray for us as we travel home.

On the Home Stretch!

Today we had our Consulate appointment where we applied for our boys’ visas.  Pretty uneventful since most of the paperwork has already been processed.  We also had an oath swearing in ceremony, which was a little anticlimactic after all we have done to get to this point. 

We had a nice dinner tonight with the Hughes Family who is with our agency, Faith International.  They too are a large family and have also adopted 5 times.  It was fun to share a meal together with a family that doesn’t mind all the noise we make – because they added to it, in a good way of course.  We had a private room which was good because the kids pretty much trashed the joint. After we left the restaurant we realized no one had taken a picture but we were not willing to climb the 5 flights of stairs to go back and take a group shot. 

It was a fairly uneventful day, which is a good thing.  The next 48 hours will be busy, and then we will head home and would really appreciate your prayers as we travel so far with so many, that everyone would be at peace and also for safety.  We have laughed as people have prayed for ‘traveling mercies’ because our daughter Mercy is the one that needs the most prayer on long journeys because she doesn’t do well being confined or with big changes.  So, when you pray, pray for traveling Mercy, and also for Benjamin and Samuel. 

We are not doing so well on the pictures but had to add one that shows one of the benefits of having a big brother, and also of miss sassy pants.  Who usually adds  ‘and Mercy’ to the end of everyone’s sentence.  Because she is pretty sure life is all about her. 

Safari Park Today!

Well for part of the family.  David and the kids (minus Benjamin) went to the Safari Park today.  They had a lot of fun, but it rained some and it is super hot here, so it was much like a sauna.  When they got back to the room, everyone was fighting over the showers.  Samuel had a rough time because he was confined to the stroller much of the day.  It was so hot and humid that David couldn’t carry him in the backpack, which is his preferred form of travel.  He was so happy to get back to the room and explore and move around.  He mimics everything we do.  He sings the songs that Mercy sings, he blows kisses, waves good bye, covers his ears, eyes and mouth and just laughs and laughs.  He is such a funny little boy. And such a cutie pie. 

I ‘suffered’ in the room with baby boy, who just wants to be held like a new born.  His arm is obviously still hurting him, but he has done so well.  He hasn’t tried to use it or move around much, which seems to have helped with bonding because he is so dependant on me.  He is just super sweet and adorable. He wants me to hold him and talk to him and kiss and hug him.  He just gazes at me with his amazing eyes. 

There have been so many memorable and wonderful moments having our other kids here with us in China.  But, for those that are coming to china after us, and considering bring your older children with you, I don’t want to paint a totally rosy picture of this.  Yes, it is a wonderful bonding experience, and it is a family celebration.  Also, I don’t have to worry about my kids back home for 3 weeks (or 2 if you are adopting one child).  But we have a ton of luggage, will have taken 7 planes, one train, and countless long van rides.    I’m sure my big boys and husband are tired of feeling like pack mules – I’m not a light packer when I have little ones with me.  We have had a few tense moments with a child (or sometimes a parent) having a melt down because something wasn’t going as planned.  But even during some of our more tense moments, I have asked myself, “would it be better if we had left them at home”.  And without a doubt, every single time the answer is NO!  I am so thankful that we have all of them with us (minus our oldest) and would do it again if given the opportunity. 

No pictures from today, so I am posting some from the past few days.  They are so BEAUTIFUL Handsome!

Have baby, will break!

Samuel has climbed on everything and has such amazing ‘skills’ and he never gets hurt.  He seems to know how to fall just right.  Benjamin on the other hand, has not explored much, mostly crawls (super fast too) and never climbs on anything.  He pretty much stays close to David or me at all times. But today he decided to follow his new brother and sister and climbed up on this rolling bed that sits low to the floor.  We were thinking, yeah Benjamin, you are coming out of your shell a little.  Then next thing we hear is a thud and pop.  It happened so fast and we were right there and couldn’t stop it.  So, very reluctantly, we took him to the ‘bone hospital’ with our guide.  Poor baby boy gets a new family and a broken arm all in the same week.  I have to say, he did amazing.  Better than I would have that is for sure. 

The medical system here is nothing like in the states. And without being too critical, lets just say I will not be complaining about any er trips we may have in the future. And they don’t use casts, they use wooden splints and gauze.  They also made a ‘sling’ out of gauze.  And no pain meds either.  They said they would use traditional Chinese medicine, which meant they soaked the wooden splints in some smelly stuff that would somehow help his arm heal. Oh, and don’t give him anything cold or spicy so his arm will not heal. Oh, and also be sure to keep his belly button covered at all times so cold doesn’t get into his body. And, remember, nothing fried either and no calcium – that one was the one that made the least sense.  Ok, I said I wasn’t going to be critical. But it really is a very different system here.

Other than that, everything else is going wonderful.  Samuel still flashes his million dollar smile, along with his cute little dimples, all the while quietly bullying Mercy and Benjamin.  Mercy still screams her head off every time Samuel starts near her. And Benjamin still loves to be held like a baby and given a sippy cup with formula much like a bottle.  They have fit in just perfect and we are having so much fun getting to know them more and more each day.  Did I tell you how snuggly baby boy Benjamin is????  LOVE THAT SO MUCH!!!  Oh, and, how about how cute Samuel’s smile and dimples are?  Ok sounding like a broken record I know.  But they really are 2 amazing little boys.  

1st Day in Guangzhou!

Our medical exam went well and fairly uneventful.  Our little tiny baby boy weighs 22 pounds and is 30 inches long. I knew this little baby boy was a chub, but nothing in comparison to his almost 30 pound brother.  Samuel is 29 pounds and 31.5 inches tall.  He is a super chub.  And for those who have adopted from China, you know the routine, a squeaky toy to check their hearing, a flash light to check their eye site, and a quick look over and they are pronounced healthy and ready to fly to the U.S.  Its not a real medical check by any stretch of the imagination, but every child has to go thru it in order to get their visa to enter the states.  We go back in 48 hours to have Samuel’s TB test read.  Benjamin was spared the trauma because he is under 2, so by law does not have to have a tb test.

It was good to be back in Guangzhou and see the familiar sites and sounds, and, oh the smells.  But that is everywhere in China.  We also had a round of paperwork to do once the medical exam was over and since that lot was cast on me from the beginning, David visited the White Swan play room with another family, while the dad and I went to the business center with our guide to prepare our paperwork for our consulate appointment.  What was suppose to be a ’10 minute paperwork meeting’ lasted a good 1 ½ hours. But that is the end of the paperwork process for now – until we go thru the re-adoption process.  It sometimes seems never ending but so worth it all to have these little boys as our sons.  They are ADORABLE and such blessings. 

Mercy, who is our baby girl and not yet 3 years old, has not been loving this little brother thing – no surprise to those that know her.  She is a huge mamma’s girl and can hardly stand it that I would give my undivided attention to someone other than her.  Yesterday she wanted us to leave them at the hotel when we were getting ready to leave for the airport.  But today she seemed to turn a corner.  She was kissing them and saying, “see mama, I gentle”, while stroking their hair and patting their back.   When we got back to the hotel after our ‘short’ paperwork meeting, and everyone was starving, she got the gerber puffs out and started feeding them, carefully taking turns and saying, “Here you go boy (to Samuel) and here you go Benjin” (her way of saying his name and now we are all saying it).  It was such a sweet moment.  Sadly, it didn’t last as long as I had hoped.  But progress is a great thing.    

Last day in Kunming!

This morning we got up early and met our guide so we could go to Benjamin’s Finding Spot.  We have been able to do this with 4 or our 5 Chinese born children.  It is always an emotional experience to be able to stand on or near the place your child was left.  I can’t imagine what a birth family feels or thinks as they choose the place they will leave their child.  And I certainly don’t want to judge their motives or intent in doing this.  I am grateful that each of our children were placed in a very public place which was likely motivated by a desire for them to be found and taken to a safe place.  If the birth parents were not driven by some sense of love and concern for the child, they would not choose such a public place, where they could suffer the affects of child abandonment, which is a crime in China.  Benjamin’s finding spot was in or near a tunnel.  His medical file was unclear as to the exact spot he was left, but it was a very busy tunnel in an area where migrant farmers live. 

With both our new sons, and our youngest daughter, their special need, limb difference, would have made it difficult for their birth families to have kept him due to prejudices towards visible differences, like their hands and feet.  We know in American that hands and feet do not make a person, and that they will have as many rights and opportunities as anyone else. And sadly prejudices exists in the U.S. too.  But we hope and pray that a loving family will be able to help them to overcome and to become all that they were made to be. So that nothing will hold them back from all that God has called them to be or equipped them to do.  So, we say to our new sons, you are fearfully and wonderfully made, perfect in everyway, and we could not love you any more if you had 10 fingers and 10 toes.  We love you just the way you are. 

Day 4 with Benjamin!

Both boys are doing really great.  They have adjusted  to our family better than we could have hoped for.  Benjamin is still so much like a baby, which I love.  He will lay in my arms and just snuggle and smile at me.  He is so sweet and loving.  Samuel seems older to us than 2.  He is very smart, inquisitive, and can pretty much get into, or on to, any and everything.  He has amazing dexterity and strength.  And has a smile that melts our hearts.  He is also very loving which is amazing at this point in the process.  We feel so blessed to be their family and just love them both so very much. 

This morning at breakfast, an elderly lady kept trying to talk with Joy and Hope.  She thought Joy was deaf (used sign language to ask us) because Joy wasn’t answering her questions (in Chinese) and a waitress came by and said something to her.  They carried on a long conversation, which we have no idea what they said, and then she gave us a thumbs up, pulled out an envelope of money (Chinese yuan) and gave each of our kids $100 in Chinese money.  When we met our guide later in the day, he said that the hotel manager had called him and told him that the owner of the hotel was having breakfast and met us and was very moved by us adopting our kids.  We had no idea she was the owner of this hotel.  She also asked the manager to get the contact information for the local orphanage (Benjamin’s orphanage) so she could visit and see how she could help.  You never know how you will impact other people when you are just going about your day.

We met our guide in the afternoon and went to Green Lake Park.  It is a large park area with several garden areas, a lake, and a lot of little carts and shops set up with people selling their wares.  Also, many people dancing, singing, playing instruments, and just enjoying each others company.  We have seen this in every city we have been to in China.  People here are very social and they tend to gather in parks and public areas. 

There was an error on Benjamin’s paperwork, and while we were at the park our guide got a call to come and pick up the corrected paperwork.  We decided to stay and take a taxi (actually 2) back to our hotel after we ate dinner.  We had heard of a French Café on Foreigners Street but the problem was, neither our guide, or any of the local people knew where either of these were.  But we wandered around the area of town we thought it was in and saw so many interesting things.  People will just set up a crock pot of sorts, and sell food that they are making on the street.  Others cut up fruit and sell off the back of their bike.  We finally found the restaurant, with a little help from a westerner we saw on the street, and had a nice meal and ended with crepes for desert.

We are going to Benjamin’s finding spot tomorrow morning. I had a few emails of people asking what this was when I wrote about Samuel’s finding spot.  It is the place that a child is left, and where they are found by someone that usually takes them to a police station.  Then they are transferred to the local orphanage.  In Benjamin’s case, it was in a tunnel.  We will be visiting that place tomorrow.  Then we come back and pack up our room and will be heading to Guangzhou in the evening.  Guangzhou is where we do the American end of the paperwork.  We will get visa’s for our boys to enter the U.S. and at that point they become American citizens. 

Pray for us as we travel.  The hardest part of the trip is traveling from city to city and going thru the Chinese airports.  But not nearly as hard as the long flight back.  Which we will be asking for prayer again when that time comes. 

Third Day with Benjamin!

This post is to document our time visit to Benjamin’s orphanage. The details may not be of interest to some, but one day he will be able to read this post and possible know a little more, although very little, of the place he spend the early part of his life. 

We arrived at the Kunming Social Welfare Institute and was quickly escorted to a conference room where we could ask questions. Problem was, they either didn’t want to give us the answers, or they didn’t know.  We were told that he spent 5 months at the foster village but they couldn’t give us any information about the family or if he had any foster siblings. He was returned to the orphanage a week before we met him.  We asked about any special care givers that he was attached to. But we were told they are moved around a lot so the kids do not get attached to any one person.  SO SAD! We were told that he likes to eat fruit and cake – and anything sweet. But we have found this to not be true. He really does not like sweets at all and will drink some fruit juice but he will not eat any fruit that we have found. We were also told he is stubborn and that is really true.  There were other questions that we tried to get answers too without success, and we know that this is just the lay of the land for international adoptions.  But we had hoped to be able to piece together some of his early history, but there was little information given.

The orphanage was very clean, and somewhat sterile.  And strangely quiet. There are 700 kids connected with this orphanage.  550 are in foster care and 150 are living at the orphanage.  The kids in foster care typically have a better start in life, and we feel that this will be the case with Benjamin.  I was surprised, and a little disappointed, that he was only in foster care for 5 months. But feel that this did impact him in a positive way. He came to us plump, healthy, and developmentally on target.  He also is very interactive and returns affection easily.  Which means he was most likely shown affection. 

We saw some children today during our visit, and they were all plump and being attended to.  Most were under the age of 6 months.  From reading other families accounts of their visit, most children are sent to the foster care village around the age of 6 months.  Which seemed to line up with what we saw.  We did see some other older children being cared for. Two children that were blind, were outside for a walk with a caregiver. We also saw a special needs room that housed older kids that had more severe needs.  The equipment seemed up to date and the rooms were well staffed. I know this can be a show put on for the foreign visitors, but in any case, it did seem that the kids were well cared for. 

Its always hard to see so many children with out a family.  We have visited 3 out of our 5 youngest childrens’ orphanages, and 2 of them we were allowed to interact with the kids.  It leaves an impression on you that changes you forever.  If I could be granted one wish in life, it would be for each one of these very special treasures to find a family that would love and celebrate them and call them their own. 

But to focus on our little man – he is such a sweet and stubborn and strong willed little thing.  He will lay in my arms like a young baby and let me kiss his sweet little chubby cheeks. He smiles so big and has the cutest little laugh.  When one care giver (older lady in the pictures ) was holding him, as soon as I finished taking the picture, he leaned towards me and when I held him, he laid his head on my shoulder and snuggled so sweetly.  He also can throw a mean fit, bite and hit.  But that’s pretty normal even for a child that has grown up in a family. 

We are so thankful that God would allow us to add both Benjamin and Samuel to our family.  They are both so full of life and love and many gifts that we will spend a life time discovering.  We are so in love with them both and celebrate their little lives now and forever. 

Day 2 with Benjamin!

Since we completed all of Benjamin’s paperwork yesterday when we met him, our day today was free.  We had a tour scheduled to the Stone Forest, but we thought it would be over the top for our little ones, especially with Benjamin just joining our family.  So David, Matthew and Daniel went, and the girls and little boys and I stayed at the hotel.  It was fine as long as we were in the room and really it is going better than we could have imagined. Anna assured me that we could take them all to breakfast. I should have listened to my ‘inner voice’, or wisdom that comes with age.   I put the boys high chairs next to each other, and immediately Samuel started hitting Benjamin, and then Benjamin started kicking him.  And they were loud.  At one point Samuel starting grunting, and Benjamin decided he wouldn’t be out done, and grunted louder. Then Samuel started screaming at him, so Benjamin, again not to be out done, screamed even louder.  As we were scrambling to find food that Benjamin would eat  in hopes to gain some sense of control (he is very picky and has obviously not had many solids), Samuel got impatient and was able to reach a plate full of food and tossed it and it broke.  And then Benjamin joined in on the fun and started throwing food off his tray. I’m really not exaggerating.  At this point Mercy, Hope and Joy were just staring at the boys in disbelief and then Anna and I did the responsible thing – we started laughing. And the waitress that had cleaned up the broken plate and food, and had walked by many times and smiled at us, started laughing also.   So, we left and ate snack foods in the room. 

The boys have really done so well.  This has been our easiest transition.  Both boys were in foster care and that seems to have made such a huge difference in their adjustment. 

Tomorrow we are going to visit Benjamin’s orphanage.  He spent very little time there, but we are unable to visit the foster family or even get information on them so we feel like this could be important to him one day.  We were unable to go to Samuel’s orphanage other than the conference room we received him in, but they did walk us to his finding spot.  We will ask about Benjamin’s finding spot tomorrow, and hopefully be able to visit it.   

We are having a great time and really love China and the Chinese people, but we are also looking forward to being home with our boys so we can begin the real journey.